Saturday, January 10, 2009


This one time, I thought I might die. Nothing interesting- just a deer in front of our van, and nobody hurt, but I remember being startled and losing a few moments and then realizing that I very nearly missed a death. It sort of felt like when you think you've seen someone you used to know, and then it turned out to be a stranger instead. As if I had very nearly missed reuniting with a friend. I thought about that a lot when Dream talked to Death.

Destruction's attempts at creation made me smile, and a little afraid.

Despair reminded me of someone in my family, who I won't name.

Destiny bored me. And despite the name, Desire is not for this space.

I liked Delirium. I liked how the rainbow fish could sparkle out the light on a blade of grass and how she looked for what she lost and the colors in her hair and the dance-y fascination with words and word-shapes and frog-shapes and the raspberry chocolate lovers the way reality was this incredibly hard, hard thing that cut with the rules of it until it became something else like bugs or anger or bubbles in the shapes of kings even though that meant that there was no Delight, she was gone and the glass beauty and stains in the way reality takes your breath away in places because it is so unbearable became just unbearable and avoided and skeltered. Delirium was nice.

I finished my novel.


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